Hash Cash: $7
O2H3 #: 2307
Title: UCF Knights Tailgate Trail
Date: Saturday, October 04 2025
Hare(s): No Toe
Trail length (miles): 3.69
Meet: 01:30 PM
Kitcar Away: 00:00 PM
Hare Away: 01:69 PM
Shiggy Meter: 3.69
Trail Info: Beer/Shot Stop
Location Name: UCF Parking Lot B7 (Center for Multilingual Multicultural Studies)
Address: 12701 Scholarship Dr, Orlando, FL 32826
Google Map Link: https://maps.app.goo.gl/yeRCs5xwXQYWxHUr9
Hare Notes: Hashers, virgins, college students, and degenerate football fans alike! Prepare your orifices and your drinking shoes, because No Toe is bringing you a trail that promises more action than a cheap motel mattress and more glory than a perfectly executed touchdown pass!
On Saturday, October 4th, before the mighty UCF Knights tackle those flaccid Jayhawks, we’re unleashing a torrent of trail-laying brilliance and beer-fueled debauchery! To celebrate this glorious event, come draped in your finest (or shittiest) black and gold – perfect for showing your UCF and O2 spirit while also disguising all the blood, beer, and questionable stains you’re bound to collect!
**The Pre-Game Pump-Up Schedule:**
*1:30 PM: Tailgating commences! That means the sweet aroma of grilled meats, the satisfying thud of cornhole bags, the splash of beer pong balls, and the palpable tension of a thousand sphincters tightening for game time.
*1:69 PM: Hare away! The pack will converge for a pre-trail briefing that’ll get you harder than a two-dollar steak.
*2:?? PM: Pack away! Time to tear yourselves away from the boozy bliss and penetrate the shiggy! No time for bananas, where are the cheetoes?!
*3:?? PM: Circle Up! The RA’s ready to dish out glorious down-downs, lead some questionable songs, and dish out the hash shit!
*4:?? PM: On-After Orgy Begins! Get those beautiful face holes ready for No Toe’s legendary spread of weiners and acoochiemints!
*7:30 PM: Kick-off for the UCF vs. Kansas game! You’ll be nicely lubricated and just tired enough to enjoy the game without giving a shit about the outcome.
**Why this Hash is More Satisfying Than a Quarterback Sneak**
*FREE PARKING ON CAMPUS!* That’s right, no one’s getting toed (unless you like that).
*OPEN CONTAINERS!* You heard me! Perfect conditions for a hash. We’re not sneaking around like shy virgins. We’re getting openly hammered, just like God intended.
*CUM OUT AND SUPPORT YOUR TEAM!* Or at least your local kennel. Just cum. We don’t care why you’re here, just that you brought your beautiful, half-minded self.
*EXPECT A TRAIL OF GLORY!* No Toe has been scouting out the perfect path through the pre-game madness, the drunken masses, and perhaps a few tempting shortcuts through some tailgater’s cooler. Prepare for urban shiggy, cunning checks, bountiful bananas, and countless beer stops. Whether you’re the Front Running Bastard or Dead Fucking Last, there will be a path (or bush) for your particular pace of penetration.
**The Post-Trail Pleasure Package:**
No Toe will be ready to fill your beautiful face holes with more than just good cheer. We’ll have:
*PLENTY OF BEER!* Because we’re not animals… unless the beer runs out.
*ENDLESS SLUTS!* (Figuratively speaking, of course, but you never know who you might meet!)
*WEINERS AND ACOOCHIEMINTS!* Yes, you heard right! No Toe is providing a delicious spread of phallic delights and accompanying morsels. Prepare for a post-trail feast that will truly satisfy every craving you didn’t even know you had.
*CHEETOES!* For a potassium boost, or whatever other creative uses you might find for them! Or is that bananas?!
So mark your calendars, start practicing your flip cup, and get ready for a day of glorious debauchery!
**CHARGE-ON-ON (and GO KNIGHTS!)**
**NO TOE**
