Hash Songs

These songs might contain rude, crude, and socially unacceptable song lyrics. If you think you’ll find that offensive or are under 18 years old – read no further. The Hash House Harriers might not be the right group for you. These songs should be taken lightly as snarky, funny, and goofy adult fun.

Thank you to Likes Tiny Dicks for putting together a few of our favorite O2H3 songs. If you regularly hash with O2H3 and would like to add a song, email the webmeister the lyrics. Since this is the World Wide Web and anyone can access it freely, we will be selective in which lyrics/songs we decide to publish here. The webmeister gets to decide. All complaints and whining will earn a down-down, so don’t even bother.


Masturbation (Tune-Frere Jacques)
Masturbation, I like masturbation
Masturbation, I like to masturbate
Fornication, I like fornication
Fornication, I like to F^*k!

Twenty Toes (Tune-unknown)
There’s a game called twenty toes,
it’s played all over town,
the women place ten toes up and
the men with ten toes down, down, down, down

Flabongo Song (Tune-Turkey in the Straw)
Well, it’s long hard and pink
And dribbles down my chin.
When I drink all down,
I want to do it all again.
So, I wrap my lips around it
And I drink it like a ho&!
It’s my Fla-Bong-Go!

Hashers, Meet the Hashers (Tune-Flintstones)
Hashers, meet the hasher, we’re the biggest drunks in history,
From the town of Orlando, we’re the leaders in debauchery.
Half minds, trailing shiggy through the years,
Watch us, as we down a lot of beers!
Down down, down down down down, down down down down down down down down, down
down down down down, down down down down down!!!
Drink motherf*^%er, drink motherf*^%er, drink motherf*^%er……

Military Song (Tune-YMCA)
A$$hole, a$$hole, a soldier I will be,
To piss, to piss, two pistols on my knee,
For c*nt, for c*nt, for country I will fight!
A$$hole, a$$hole, a$$hole, a$$hole a soldier I wll be!

Shitty Trail (Tune- Mickey Mouse)
Shitty trail, (it sucked) shitty trail, (it blew)
The motherf*^%ers laid a shitty trail!
Oh! I would rather f*^% a duck,
Than run your shitty trail!
Drink it down, (drink it down) drink it down (drink it down)
Oh, you motherf*^%ers drink it down!!

Drive Me to the Hash (Tune: Fly Me to the Moon)  (Lyrics by: Missing Link)
Drive me to the hash,
Get me out of this dive bar,
Let’s go do some down downs
Til our livers good and hard
In other words,
Beer is good,
In other words,
Down down to you!

There Was a Little Bird (Tune: Unknown)
There was a little bird, no bigger than a turd,
Sitting on a telephone pole
He ruffled up his neck, he shat a little peck
He ruffled up his little a$$hole,
A$$hole, a$$hole, a$$hole, he ruffled up his little a$$hole.

Whip It Out at the Ballgame (Tune: Take Me Out to the Ballgame)
Whip it out at the ballgame, wave it ’round at the crowd,
Dip it in peanuts and Cracker Jacks
We don’t care if you give it a whack
For it’s beat your meat at the ballgame,
If you don’t cum it’s a shame
For it’s one, two, you’re covered in goo,
At the old ballgame!

Where Oh Where, Were You Last Week (Tune: Same as title)
Where oh where, were you last week?
Why did you let us hash all alone?
You fat lazy ba$tard, you weren’t even here
So we fu#@ed all the virginians and drank all the beer!

You Seem Somewhat Forgetful
You seem somewhat forgetful
Remind me maybe this will
Next time you cum don’t be so dumb
And bring your fu@#in’ whistle!